Do you love yourself?

I mean truly love yourself?

If you just scoffed a bit at the idea, I’ll share with you that was me not too many years ago.

I don’t remember the exact moment that I didn’t really love – or even like – myself, but when I had that “aha” moment, I knew that was something I needed to change.

We can move away from annoying neighbors, avoid dealing with irritating family members, go to a different coffee shop if our usual one hired surly staff, but we can never avoid ourselves. We can try as much as we like, but ultimately, we’re there with ourselves all day, every day.

Kinda sucks to spend all day with someone we don’t love or even like, doesn’t it?

One technique for you to begin loving yourself is to remind yourself every day that you matter, that your priorities are an important part of taking care of yourself, that you always have a choice about what you do.

After all, nobody else can take better care of you than you.

Leaving little love notes with those reminders so they are the first thing you see in the morning will help you make conscious choices with your time every single day.

So you will do more of the things that show you love and value yourself.

By the way… choosing to love yourself even if you feel like nobody else around you does can be a huge catalyst for actually changing the way the people around you see and treat you. This is potent and powerful stuff here…

Here are 3 of my favorite little notes. Write them on a Post-It Note and put them somewhere conspicuous, or use a dry erase marker to leave yourself a reminder on your bathroom mirror each night of something you want to see first thing in the morning to start your day off on the right foot:

1)      “What do I need most today?”

How often do you wake up, look at your phone (which probably serves as an alarm clock, too), then get sucked into the email drama that magically appeared overnight like mushrooms in a forest?

Or how often do you have a food plan for the week, but walk out of the house without your salad you so carefully assembled the night before (maybe because you were thinking about the aforementioned emails), then say “screw it” and just order something that is decidedly not a salad from DoorDash so you don’t even have to leave your desk at the office?

How often do you spend a weekend planning out what you need most for the week, only to let it slip away until Thursday when you remember, “Oh, I meant to do all this stuff for myself this week?”

Writing a note asking yourself every morning what you need most not only reminds you of what you need, but it reminds you to make the choices you need to meet that need.

2)      “Do what feels best.”

It’s easy to get stuck in the day-to-day grind of things that we allow to take over our lives. Work, kids, school, family needs. It’s easy to forget what we need, and what feels good for ourselves. The things that truly feel good are usually what are best for us.

Now, that doesn’t equate with an invitation to indulge in a box of chocolate chip cookies and a bottle of wine just to feel good. If we stop to think about the stuff that feels good for the long run, we can more easily shift our behavior from doing what feels good in the moment to doing things that have more longer lasting positive outcomes. If it really is the cookies and wine, then have at it. But do it with mindfulness and recognition that you made that choice consciously. You can follow up later with a question about what feels best for a long term goal or for your health – the words are yours to choose – but just pausing to think about what truly feels like your best choice in the moment will lead to making more conscious choices.  

What feels best may be taking more frequent breaks during the work day to go outside and feel grass beneath your feet, smell the air, and see the sun. It could be choosing an apple over something that will cause a sugar rush, like a bag of empty calorie chips. Or it may be making plans to see someone that you enjoy seeing and haven’t reached out to in awhile.

That little reminder on your mirror in the morning can remind you to pay attention to the choices you make all day.

3)      “I love me more.”

This is a powerful little note. So often we humans get caught in the people-pleasing cycle of doing things for others because we don’t know how (or just don’t want) to say no. We may do it out of a sense of obligation or duty. It’s good to love others, we need connections for survival and love makes us thrive. There are studies out there that show even house plants do better when people talk to them as they water them. Same is true for us. We thrive when we receive love and positive words from others.

It’s all fine and dandy to love others, but if we fall into a pattern of giving more away than we receive, it can be draining. We can’t pour from an empty cup. When we take care of our own stuff, care for ourselves, we fill our cup. When our cup is full and we know how to keep filling it, we can share with others without taking away from ourselves.

This one little thought – “I love me more” – isn’t a sign of selfishness. It’s a reminder to fill your cup. Love yourself enough to take care of you. Then see how things change in the way you love others. There’s more to give!

These are all just suggestions. I strongly encourage cultivating your own practice of writing little love notes to yourself and leaving them where you’ll see them. Give it a shot and see what happens. It won’t cost you more than a package of Post-It Notes.

If you’re interested in finding out how we can support you in scripting your own little love notes for yourself, click here to book a discovery call to find out which coaching solution is for you.