I’m 46 years old and I’ve always hated running.

Until this year.

I’ve run off and on over the years. I tried to love it. I’ve done countless 5ks and who knows how many uninspired miles in all sorts of places. Running has always had a cerebral appeal to me because it’s so easy to throw a pair of sneakers into a bag and always have an easy way to explore a different city and get some exercise when on the road. It seemed like something I should naturally love.

But I never truly enjoyed it. Gotta be honest.

There were all sorts of excuses in my mind as to why I didn’t enjoy it.

“I need a new pair of shoes, these are toast.”

“It’s so hot, I hate hot weather.”

“I just need to run more regularly, it feels so hard, but I don’t have time.”

Or, my personal favorite repeat running thought…

“My ankles hurt. This sucks ass.”

When I’ve taken it up in the past, it was for a reason. To get ready for a 5k, to have something to do with a boyfriend who loved it, to force myself to take a break during the workday, or just to “get in shape.”

None of those reasons have anything to do with just running for running’s sake.

This year, that shifted. I started running because I got bored with walking. That’s it. That’s the only reason. I started running just for the sake of running. And I 100% believe that’s the reason I have finally come to love it.

Since this experience – and my thoughts about it – carry so many metaphors for my own life, I want to share what I’ve noticed happening over the last few months.

Before I begin with the specifics, I’ll let you know exactly what happened from a high level, bird’s eye perspective:

I let go of expectations and intentionally chose the thoughts I put in my head every time I went out.

That’s it.

That’s also lesson number 1 from this entire experience.

1)      Stop expecting.

When we let go of expectations of an intended outcome and allow ourselves to experience and enjoy a moment for what it is, what happens as a result becomes almost magical – certainly it becomes more enjoyable (even for mundane things). I stopped expecting my runs to get me somewhere and began to just be – to experience the runs for what they were. Runs. On the road. Under the trees, along the fields, past my neighbors’ donkeys. I observed the changing of the seasons, the way the wind blew, the angle of the sun at different times of day.

I began to think I understood a bit of what Thoreau was going for. That was cool, because when I had to read Thoreau in school, I thought it was boring as shit.

The rest of the lessons…

2)            Shoes matter.

This is probably an obvious one when it comes to running, but I discovered something really important over the last couple of years. The so-called “wisdom” about what kind of shoes I “should” wear that came from others was totally wrong. I’ve had my gait analyzed, my physiology evaluated, and received advice about what kind of shoes I should buy. I was always directed to a “stability” shoe – a shoe that has more support, more pieces of foam designed to shift my feet into one position or another. The way our feet lie in our shoes affects everything else in our bodies. What I didn’t realize for many, many years is those shoes were not serving me at all. They weren’t adding to my running pleasure, they were actually detracting from it – I just didn’t know any better. I thought that’s what I should have because that’s what the experts told me I should wear.

The shoes were forcing me to do something that my body was actually not wanting to do. Running in a pair of shoes that were placing me into an unnatural position that was not right for my body was detrimental, not helpful. It added to (maybe even created) the hurt.

The last time I was steered towards such a pair of shoes, I finally said no. I tried on every single pair of “stability” shoe they had in the store in my size. I didn’t like any of them. The “support” was in all the wrong places. I understood why people get those custom orthotics made that I had done only for my ski boots (because… who doesn’t want to make skiing more comfortable than it is?).

I felt like the star of the show in the princess and the pea that day at the running shoe store. I asked for what else there was. The sales guy brought me what is commonly known as a “neutral” shoe – one that doesn’t have quite so much pushiness about the positioning – along with a clearly disapproving attitude. This is the kind of shoe that assumes you aren’t pronating or supinating or whatever it is people think our feet are doing that is dubbed wrong. And the attitude the sales guy brought along was the kind that says “you, slightly chubby 40 something year old lady, clearly have no idea about running.”

Those shoes gave me the space to feel what was going on for my feet – more about that in Lesson 3… I did exactly the right thing.

What’s the overall life takeaway here? Stop listening to other people’s ideas about what you “should” be doing. Seriously. Or if you already do an awesome job with that, then keep up the good work and never start listening to people telling you you’re doing it wrong.

By the way… if your shoes are just awesome looking and that’s the only reason to put them on and get out there, that’s ok, too. Whatever inspires us to get out is a good thing. Who cares if they’re professionally fitted?

3)            Body aches are telling us something.

Just as my shoes provided feedback to me that I needed something else to run in, I’ve noticed that body aches and pains (the ankles that hurt?) are simply feedback indicating a need to adjust something. Instead of looking for an external solution (shoes with guardrails and uncomfortable arch supports, a knee brace, an injection, etc.) I found that being willing just to shift my body in subtle ways has allowed me to get rid of the physical issues that have plagued me in the past on my runs. My chiropractor recommend a book called “Chi Running” that probably changed my running life and opened my mind to ways to shift body positioning in subtle ways. Being more self-aware in general also helped.

What have I learned and adjusted?

Shifting from a heel strike to a mid-foot strike was a huge game changer for me. I can’t articulate why, although I am sure there is someone out there who can. It was just better for me, it felt better. But perhaps just being aware that there are different ways to have your feet hit the pavement is enough to give you the freedom to try different things.   And see what works for you.

My achy ankles? As I noticed in my body the newfound freedom of my shoes, I gave my body permission to send the signal that I was holding a lot of tension in my ankles. I wasn’t fully releasing at the end of a stride, and that was causing some shin pain and ankle pain. When I began experimenting with awareness of what was going on in my ankles, I made adjustments and felt better.

As I continued running, I noticed my butt got “better” (i.e., stronger). I began to rely on those muscles more instead of channeling my energy and muscle reliance into my quads and hips, which was leading to some additional pains as I began to rack up miles again. I also added a bit of attention to my abs and core and felt what kind of impact those muscles had on my other minor shifts that led to fewer aches and pains.

In other words… I listened to my body and adjusted accordingly.

No matter what we are doing, even when it doesn’t seem like something physical, listening to our bodies and making adjustments that help it feel better is always the right answer.

Always.

4) Goal setting

I’m not one to shy away from setting goals in other areas of my life, but I noticed when I started to run again this year, I would set little goals or milestones for myself. Just little ones. Before, however, I would just run. With little intention other than to rack up miles - the miles I decided I “had” to rack up to get ready for the thing. I hated every moment.

So did my dog.

I have used running apps in the past, including the “Couch to 5k” style ones designed to get naturally lazy people (like me!) back out there. If you aren’t familiar with them, the concept is basically run a bit, walk a bit until you run more and more and eventually run a 5k nonstop. The problem with them is they often aren’t adjustable and they don’t take into account who you are and where you are and all the things, like some days I don’t feel like doing squat.

So I treated this year’s return to running as totally up to me. I could run a full 5k if I felt like it (if there’s  a promise of beer at the end, I’m usually much faster). Or I could just do what I wanted. Take breaks and walk along the way and say hi to the aforementioned donkeys.

But the one thing I do every run is set an intention for how far I will go before I check in to see if I want to do more.

The mental conversation goes like this:

“I’m going to run to the corner there and then see if I feel like going more.”

“I’m at the corner… keep going or walk a bit?”

“Ehhhh. A break is ok today.”

“Ok, let’s take a break to that telephone pole up there…”
“Alright, that’s cool.”

[get to telephone pole]

“Let’s goooooo!!!!]

“Ok, how far?”

“The next corner up there, maybe a quarter of a mile… you got this.”
“Okie dokie.”

[gets to corner]

“We’re here, now what? Want to keep going?”

“Yeah! I’m feeling good now, can we keep going and go faster?”

“You betcha.”

It may sound kooky (or even a little psycho), but I have conversations like that the whole way.

Sometimes I say how awesome it is to be out. Other times I criticize my judgement in deciding going out in the snow was just super crazy.

By the way… this has been my rule as a runner since the beginning:

Always run up the hill.

It’s ok to take a break at the top, and even walk down.

But I always run up the hill.

Even if it’s short.

Even if it’s long.

Running uphill makes us stronger every single damn time we do it.

Just doing it is awesome.

In life in general, you may have heard the phrase or read the book “Eat that Frog.”

Same concept. Do the hard things as hard as you can. It makes the easier things way easier.

And the hard things easier, too.

5) Check in with yourself

Setting goals is one thing, but checking in with yourself along the way is another.

As my dialogue above shows, I check in with myself along the way. I do that all the time. I’ve conditioned myself to do it in my life in general all the time.

All day, every day.

No metaphor for life required here.

Just check in with yourself to see what you need.

Do you want to keep going?

Do you want a challenge?

Do you want to slow down?

Do you want to do more?

Do you want to push yourself hard?

Is it a day to take it easy?

Even with setting my goals, I found that checking in along the way often allowed my inner self to express what it wanted – instead of just listening to what my ego or the Couch to 5k app wanted.

It led to running more, not less. And being kinder when I needed it. More on that in a minute.

6) Celebrate progress

Checking in along the way also invited a lot of celebration. I began to notice that instead of taking 5-6 walking breaks on my usual route (what I did a the beginning), I quickly dropped down to 1 or 2 or none. I celebrated the progress and those little celebrations actually served to inspire me to answer my check-ins differently.

Instead of taking a break, I would be more likely to say…

“I don’t want to stop – I can do both of these hills in a row.”

Or…

“Yeah, I just did twice what I did last week! I’m kicking ass and want to keep going!!!”

Just noticing and celebrating our wins often inspires us to do more, go harder, and be faster next time around. And the way to do that is by doing all those things on this go around.

7) Having some self-compassion

Some days I don’t want to do much. Some days I just want a walk. I’ve decided to let that be ok.

In doing so, I’ve noticed that I actually want to run more often than not. I say yes more often than no. I believe the key here, though, is giving permission for myself to say no. Or yes.

It’s up to me.

Then I choose what I tackle on any given day.

This time of year (it’s December in New England), I find I have to dig deep to go out on days I want to stay in or be by the fireplace, but those are the days I actually feel most amazing, at my awesome-est when I get back inside from a run. For saying yes and doing it anyway, even when I want to say no.

That’s it. I hope my running experience has given you a nugget or two to contemplate. These lessons I’ve learned from getting out in my now-favorite running shoes are the things I think about on my runs. They make me show up more mindful for my work when I get back to the house. And they inspire me to figure out what they really mean to me, because I think that’s what makes it easier to translate into something that’s meaningful to all of us. I trust there’s something in there for you, especially since you’re still reading 😊

Are you a runner? Do you have an experience of your own you wish to share? If so, reach out and let me hear it. Our own experiences can be kept to ourselves or shared with others. We never know what seeds our stories plant in the minds of others….