How to Practice Not Drinking
For so many people, once you hit a certain (ahem) age, it seems that alcohol consumption catches up to the body. Hangovers become more and more common, even from just a little bit of booze, inflammation in the body is the norm, joint aches, puffiness, a general feeling of being unwell… these are just some of the physical things that come from drinking regularly or bingeing frequently.
Maybe this is happening to you. Or perhaps you have just been wanting to stop drinking and haven’t been able to do so. You may go out and have thoughts like “I’ll just have one” (then proceed to have 3). Or maybe “I’m ok, I’m not an alcoholic. I can handle this. I get to work every day and take care of the important stuff. I don’t have a problem with alcohol.” But then find yourself unable to stick to a plan for how many drinks you will have or how many days a week you will drink or any other number of thoughts you may think. Or perhaps you think something like, “I’ve been working so hard/work has been so tough this week/it’s been a long day, so a drink or two will take the edge off.” Then find yourself having more than one or two and waking up (again) with a hangover, starting work 3 hours later than you intended, and slogging through a day where you really needed to rock and roll so you could enjoy the weekend. Guess it means another Saturday at the office instead….
If any of these thoughts - or something similar - resonate with you, rest assured you are not alone. The stats are astounding. Lawyers report “problematic” drinking at rates far greater than the general population. Networking, firm socials, and bar association events all typically include alcohol. It’s common, it’s everywhere, and it almost seems expected of so many of us in our professional world.
The good news is that you can take a break if you make a plan and set yourself up for success. You don’t have to hit that magical “rock bottom” before you decide to turn your personal Titanic-sized martini glass into a normal-sized water goblet. Here are a few things that may help you take a break:
1) Try cutting back first. Alternate a drink with a glass of water. Find another beverage that you really, really like. When I first started taking a break, I found a couple of sparkling water/seltzer flavors that I really liked and would take them with me to social events.
2) Notice what you are thinking or feeling before you have a drink. You know when you go up to the bar at a social event and there’s a thought in your head? Maybe it’s “Oh, I really need a drink for THIS one!” Or perhaps, “Ahhhh, I have had a long day, I totally deserve this!” Doesn’t matter what it is, just noticing what it is can help you figure out what drinking does for you. That’s often left out of the conversation about NOT drinking - a recognition that drinking is serving a purpose, like relieving stress or serving as a reward or offsetting social anxiety. Once you get a handle on what it is that it is doing for you, you can figure out another strategy - one with fewer negative consequences - to address that issue. It’s hard to do that last part, though, if you keep letting drinking be the first in line coping mechanism.
3) Create other ways to solve the problem that alcohol is solving for you now. If it is stress relief, try something else FIRST, before having a drink and see how that goes. Perhaps yoga, meditation (I said it!), breathing exercises or something more physically active, like a hard bike ride, a fitness class, or boxing. If drinking is your reward for a long, hard day of work, try doing something else FIRST before your first glass of wine. Perhaps it’s a bubble bath with an awesome bath bomb from your favorite store, quiet time to read something just for fun with your favorite essential oils going in a diffuser, or whatever else you can think of that does not include alcohol, drugs, food, or buying something (all these other things can simply replace drinking with things that carry their own undesirable consequences).
If it’s feeling socially awkward at events, remember - most people there are drinking. They are likely more worried about their own stuff than wondering if you are drinking or if you seem weird. Go in armed with some questions to ask people during conversation time and just practice listening more. So often, we feel the need to talk and fill space and alcohol can make it easier to keep the chatter going. Try asking deeper questions, like “What do you find most satisfying about the work you do? What is the most challenging?” Or perhaps, “If you could do any year of your life over, what would it be and why?” Or, my favorite, “If you could do anything else for a living, no holds barred, doesn’t have to be rooted in reality, what would it be and why?” Awkwardness is avoided because now you have a plan you can execute at networking or social events. Carry around a glass of Pellegrino with a lime in it and nobody will think there’s anything up other than you’re a pretty cool person who asks interesting questions.
These are just a few techniques that can help you cut back or take a break from drinking if that is something you have been struggling to do. Find and listen to podcasts if that’s your thing that can encourage you to keep practicing. My favorite is Rachel Hart’s Take a Break Podcast. You can find it by clicking here. I signed up for her program back in July of this year (2022) and it was the missing link I needed to be able to stop drinking. I intended to stick it out for the 30 day take a break period, but it’s now November 2022 as I write this and I don’t miss it. I enjoy my social conversations more, I don’t wake up with low-grade hangovers anymore (yay!), my body no longer feels like it is in a constant state of inflammation, and my rings all fit again. I have stayed in the program and feel I get value from her monthly programming that comes out each month after the initial 30 day take a break phase. It costs about $200 a month, but I definitely save more than that by not drinking. If her podcast speaks to you and you feel like you need a next step, I recommend checking it out.